Sunday, January 11, 2009

Interview with a vampire part II....

Alright, so Jase is letting me ask him a few personal questions on this lovely Sabbath morning, since our church has sadly been moved to 12:30!!! blah! Here we go:

K: Jase, I'd like you to explain why you were dating Scott John while I was dating Ted in the picture below....
J: (laughing) he was just a fun guy. I really enjoyed his hair. It was fun to twist, and that smile. How could you resist?!
K: Gross. How comes you never twist my hair?
J: Cause you scream everytime I touch your hair.
K: K: Why do you think it is that your farts stink so much worse than everyone else's? The health food??
J: Where you here yesterday? Did you smell yourself?
K: Yea, I was here, but I couldn't smell me over your gross death stench! Do you rememeber the picture below?

J: Do you realize that this is not only our public blog, but our children's children are going to read this? And yes, I do remember that picture.
K: I'll do the questions around here. You just answer. Just wondering if you remembered that picture. That was awesome. What's the weirdest thing you and I have done together that you can think of?
J: Walk down Castro street while you asked me what I thought about the guys in front of us.
K: That's pretty lame, and not that weird. What about the statues on Main in Mesa, or what about testing out all of the beds in the mall, or maybe our late night Napoleon soundboard prank calls. Come on dude, think! I'll give you another try.
J: Those may have weirded other people out, but Castro st. weirded me out.
K: Lame. Ok, next I'd like to discuss the picture below. Was it hard for you to act like you loved me and wanted to stay married to me when I was 3x your size?

J: hahahaha, put hahahahaha. not at all. Take that off.
K: I'm writing what you say!
J: No, I loved every bit of you, you were holding my baby.
K: Liar! I was exactly 100lbs more than you!!! LIAR! Sure you loved me, but I'm talking about attracted to.
J:Just more to love baby. I love you.
K: Liar! This interview sucks!
J: One of my favorite things was reading your letter to me from back before we got married. That was awesome. Maybe I'll go get one and you can post that (as he walks away)
K: Dude, where did that come from? I didn't even ask what one of your favorite things about me before we got married was. You're so weird. And no, we're not posting you said, our children's children will be reading this!
J: Yea we are.
K: No we're not.
J: SO envelope is entitled: J-Sinna Maulder
K: Shut up, peopel always spell our last name wrong. Like I ever expected it to be MY last name someday.
J: So, starts out Jason, hey, here are soem picture to add to your frickin stack! I kept all the nude ones to myself.
K: You really want our HS kids to be reading this? REALLY? That's the kind of dad you are?
J: They'll be much older w hen they read it.
K: No they won't!
J: By the tiem they get all the way through your blogs they'll be 80.
K: They're not going to be retarded liek their father. They'll be done in a week. Let's carry on with the interview now. So does it make you mad that we see your family once a year or once every other year and I make you hang out with mine a few times a month?
J: SO anyway, continuing on with the important stuff...I just picked up the tickets for the Suns game on the 18th, it's not a big deal if you can't make it. But I need to know ASAP, e mail me. Love ya, sometimes. P.S. Expect a kick in the balls next time we meet...4 what you might be asking?...for telling the DUncan girls that I was all over you that one night. Bite me Peter PUffer!
PPS. Give Scott a big hug fr all of us.
K: You're so lame. SO LAME! Seriously taht was 10 years ago, I've matured since then...and yes, you'll be getting a kick in the balls after this interview. Can we say that now that we're parents? Well, on with the interview. THis next picture was from your phone. I took it as my sister Randa picked up a certain finger of yours whilst we were playing cards for days at a time. Do you really feel that way about me?

J: As we can see the maturity stilll abounds in the family (laughing hard at himself)
K: Wow, great answer genius. Ok, now let's learn a little more about, what the towns children call, "Doctor Mulder". Tell me a bit about your frustration of parents that reward their sick kids with candy or fast food, or soda. I love to hear this story, I coudl hear it time and time again.
J: You sure you wanna get me on my soapbox.
K: You live there, may as well put some on the blog for the children to see what a smart dad they have. He knows everything in the whole freaking world! GO!
J: What's that supposed to mean?
K: You know, just go, explain your feelings in the above situation.
J: Are you tryign to start a fight between me and your family and friends?
K: They all either completely despise you, or as you know call and e mail for council daily, so they've already made their opinions of you. Please just go on with your feelings...
J: All people simply need to do, no erase that (laughing again). Ahhhhhh, (thinking for a long time)
K: Hurry up dude, I'm freezing over here! (our fireplace is in the other room and it's COLD)
J: I have nothing against the parents themselves...I just think America as a whole needs to take time to learn what those things actually do to the body and also take time to look at where it's gotten other people. THe media isn't going to educate us on these things because the two biggest funders of our nation are the food industry and the pharmeceutical industry. The things that really lead to health have to be searched for, but all the answers are out there.
K: Wow, inspiring. I've actually got one glistening tear in my eye...blah! Alright, now then. Let's dig deeper. How much do you weigh?
J: 168
K: dreamer
J:I was, I was 168 last time I weighed
K: Great, so we're almot the same again. Canyou PUUUULEEEZ gain some weight. This is hard on me. And I have to stick up for you when people say how little you are.
J: P90X baby, P90X
K: yes, then we'll be going to counciling because I'll hate you because you'll get super buff in 2 weeks and I'll still be fat for another 3 months. I hate you just talking about it! Next subject. When you grow a mustache do you feel Mexican?
J: Ouch (following a slap in the face) I feel like Pablo.
K: Who's pablo? my dad?
J: What's the guys name on Napoleon Dynamite?
K: Pedro
J: Yea, that guy.
K: K, great. How are you feelign about the 4 trips your wife has planned for the next 6 months? Are you goign to leave her? or try and make enough $$ to take her on them? Just curious.
J: I'm just glad she has lofty goals, as she also wants to get in a house in the next 6 months and wants me to be home from work more often.
K: OOooh, you just struck a match dude. I haven't asked you to be home from work more often in MONTHS! MONTHS! I want you there more...and the house thing...ooooh. You told me a year and a half ago that we'd be in before this last CHristmas...I just spent another CHristmas in this old rental! BITE ME!!!!! Of coarse I want ina i me one other friend that hasn't owned their own house before the age of 30!! ONE!
J: I love you


Holly said...

You are crazy hilarious, you two! Ha! Brett and I were here laughing our guts out! Ha ha! Um...we hear that you are going to Vegas for Parker. Thanks for telling us! Ha! Actually, can we hang out...cuz we are going too!!

alison said...

Hey, I miss those Nap. Dynomite calls, they were so freaking funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your kids will laugh at this one day and prob say you guys were freaks, love it! Now no ball kicking OK I want you guys to make more cute Mulder children!

Melissa said...

wow, you guys crack me up. If i talked to robert like that he would divorce me, jason must really love you :)

The Sanderson Family said...

Kristal you guys are freaking hilarious! I was crackin' up the whole time I was reading! Tell Jason...I said to build you a dang house! You deserve it! I am so proud...he finally bought you a new car! : )

Burgess said...

You guys are silly and you tire me out just reading your conversations! I won't have a house before I'm 30. Just wanted to help you feel better.

And, I think, sadly, everyone knows what that crap does to your body -- they just don't care.

What are all the trips you have planned?

kristal said...

Actually, lots don't. Seriously we had so many friends call and e mail after my last post asking about alternatives, to both sugar and antibiotics. You'd be surprised at how many just don't know any different.

AudyCamp said...

oh you crack me up!! ok and that picture of you when you're pregnant and your comments about it. It's not that YOU are big but you're belly sure was. You guys are the funniest couple ever:)

buba's bodacious babe said...

All right Kristal, so wanted to plan a trip to Flag with you again, but it looks like I'm going to have to wait with all of your grand adventures you have planned. You and Jase have one of those sick love/hate realatonships that actually work! I love it! If your kids ever read all of these blogs they are going to so impressed with you guys and love you even more. Have fun in Vegas!

Vonda said...

OK, now Ive figured out your master plan of beating all your sisters on the biggest looser - No sugar & P90X! - You stink. BTW, your family doesnt feed our kids junk food and sugar when they are sick.

We feed it to them ALL the time.

Allred's said...

Okay, thanks for the awesome compliments on my weight loss blog, you make me feel good about myself. Now Dave's computer went ka poooie, so he has been using mine, so my computer time is very limited these days, so it's been a while since I last visited your blog. It rocks. I love your 101 things to do before 40. I have a list like this, but it's before I die. So yours is way better, because you wont be old still trying to accomplish your goals. Have a great one!! Oh and the sugar thing is a huge eye opener for me. I though honey had too much bacteria to eat, but I do love it.

The Hulsey Family said...

This is really cute, your kids' kids will be glad they had it!

Down Home Happiness said...

Way to go Krystal. You totally brought that one on yourself. You must have been in the mood to fight. You remind me of me, we are the biggest brats sometimes, with really patient and good husbands that drive us crazy sometimes. Nice interview though, I'm sure everyone has those converstation just not many would post it. That is what I love about you, you are REAL not trying to impress anyone. I love that.

Mary said...

You guys rock.

dani said...

You guys are crazy. I can totally picture the conversation in my head.

Wow a whole week and no post. Thats gotta be a record or something. And not a good one.

Alona said...

This post is like a visit at your house. :) You guys are hilarious! Susannah has some good news, btw!

Staci said...

That was awesome!

The Baum Family said...

Oh my gosh. That was the most entertaining thing I've read in a while. Better then the Tabloids. You are just too funny. You need to be in movies. Thanks again for the re-invite!!!