Thursday, August 7, 2014

4th at Grandma and Grandpa's

Every year for the 4th we head up north.   The 4th of July IS a small town holiday (I think they all are).  WE always go to heber to the fireworks, and then we do a few of the local things in Taylor, but mostly we just hang out in the cooler wheather at Grandma's house!



 Just a nice shot of our oldest member of our family…Foxxie turned 13 this summer.
 Our usual picture by the rock at the Heber Fireworks. 

Today i watched this video and I cried the entire way through.  not like weep weep….like wiping tears every couple of seconds and runny nose.  I want my girls to feel good about themselves because they ARE so beautiful and amazing.   But I have NEVER felt uglier in my life than I do this year.  I've let it become so consuming that I can hardly enjoy my life. I am constantly thinking, "I'm so fat, nothing fits me anymore", "This hair cut looks like a mix between Dora and an Ooompa Loompa".   "I'm getting so old and out of shape", "My lips are getting smaller, nose bigger and eyes wrinklier".   I do believe I have a messed up sense of self  perseption, but I don't know how to change it.  When others give me compliments, I hate it. I feel uncomforatble and I feel like they are ALWAYS lies…no matter who says them. It consumes my thoughts so much that it wears me out and makes it hard to do my hair or make up or get dressed each day.  I DO NOT want my girls to feel this way about themselves.
   Just figured I'd post a real mom moment on here.  90% of my life is cuddles, books, cooking, cleaning and playing cars or fake food….all of the things I love.  But I figured I should also put the way I feel at this time in my life.  Hopefully this short time in my life.  Hopefully with help from my Heavenly Father, and maybe some counceling, I can feel great about myself again.  There are a lot of factors I've tried to blame it on…..Lack of sleep….small husband….LOTS of women with amazing bods (whether they got some surgical help or not) with kids around me out here…A closet full of clothes that are 1-2 sizes to small, thinking a year ago that I'd for sure fit into them by now….photoshopped girls in my magazines….etc….but no matter what< i'm in charge of feeling how I feel about myself…those things should have the control to make me feel like crap about the way I look…but right now…they all do.

Monday, August 4, 2014

Bzzin



As a bzzagent I was just given the chance to try out this new hair dye.  I've been using all natural hair dyes for about a year now, but I figured if it's free, I'll give it a try…it's coming right to my mailbox, customized for my hair and it's FREE (as a bzzagent).  Can't wait!

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Annual friends campout


These last 2 years we've meet our friends from HS to go camping.  Due to some very unfortunate circumstances, the Rossers were not able to come this year, but we still went up with the Binghams.   Our kids are all the same ages with an additional Jaden…who was at scout camp for a day anyway. The Binghams brought up their kayaks and we spent a day on the lake.   There were some floating "logs", a few church groups, food everywhere, and some sleepy kids.  It was so much fun!


I had to take a shot of this view…it's so adorable!
This view too (minus the mom bum in the middle)


 These two are so fun to take pictures of everywhere.  They look like they could be brothers.  I love them!  4 year olds are THE COOLEST!

 These two are crazy…seriously…CARAZZZY!   I can't believe they didnt' start the forest on fire or break any bones.  I would have gotten more pictures of them together, but they don't hold still.
 And these girls. I remember taking picture of them when they were just a couple of months old together….and now they're almost too cool for their moms (they'll soon find out that no one is too cool for C and K!)  I love looking at their adorable little faces though..it reminds me so much of Cara and I 20 years ago!


 These two….these two.   They had so much attitude..I'm really surprised we got them both to smile at the same time.  Notice how amazingly dirty they are.  It's awesome!



And now onto the coolest parts of both families…. (photobomber is going to PAY!)
Sometimes when we think we're super cool…it ends up looking like this….
I love this girl.  I'm so glad we've had each other for 31 years now. I blame her for me never trying drugs or alcohol or anything else naughty.  I also blame her for some pretty hilarious nights of my life.  Our first kisses (spitting, followed by a long ride, and hers, re enacted for a video that we have. haha), throwing our towels at the june bugs that were attacking us one HS night by the pool, lots of great proms, homecomings, boy stalkings, dressing up goth or hippie and scaring people at the aiports (back when we could go to the gates at airports w/o having a ticket), learing to drive by driving out on McClaws road and, um, oh, that's Hank's house, wow, let's drive slow…and if he comes out….scream!!!!  Having too much fun at softball practice until we got in trouble, numerous concerts (beastie boys, ben folds five, no doubt to name a few), and now….helping me out as a mom…giving me good ideas, encouragement and reminders of what it's all about.  I really like this chic.  Here's to another 31!

and oh my gosh we make cute dirty campers!!!!!





Thursday, July 24, 2014

My baby….

I'm so in love with this baby girl!  SO IN LOVE! She drives me crazy all day and melts my heart all day.  She LOVES to kiss.  Kiss kiss kiss all over my face and arms.  She'll walk up out of no where just to kiss my arm or hand.   and she whispers in my ear, "I want to kiss your face!"  Then she puts about 10 kisses all over  my cheeks.  (she learned that one from me). She comes running to me crying "mommy!"  When she's hurt.  She prefers me to anyone. (sometimes when she's mad at me, she runs to Kam, or yells for dad) She loves to pick out miss matched shoes a few times a day.  She wants to wear her dora PJ bottoms with every shirt.  She loves having her hair done, and putting on "wip" (lip gloss).  She loves holding hands and saying, "one….two….freeeeee!" as we throw her up in the air.  I want to freeze her. I'm going to miss this little 2 year old phase so badly….in all of my babies.   I cry weekly about being done having kids….but you can't have em forever just to keep a toddler around. 



I want to take a picture of her everyday!  EVERYDAY!  So I can remember how fun she is.

Friday, July 18, 2014

ELEVEN!

My little tiny baby Kamryn is now a medium sized 11 year old!  I remember playing with her when she was tiny and chubby in texas and watching her swim and swim when she was about 3 with goggles on.  And how her and i would sneak around the tiny corner in the apartment kitchen and sit by the washing machine to eat chocolate cake undesturbed together.  I remember her first confident day of kindergarten. I remember for years and years everywhere we went, people would make comments on her hair, or ask if her and Jaden were twins.   I remember the most amazing day of our life when this gal was baptized in the cold cold river in Colorado.  I remember how this last year she has turned into my amazing, non complaining, ever creative and talented helper.   Happy Birthday KamD!   Love you SO MUCH!!!! You make us so proud!

 On birthday morning Kam wanted  a stack of colorful pancakes…and even though she decided to do Whole 3o with Jase and I, we figured she needed the weekend off…so did she.

 Then we loaded up with one of her best friends in the world, Tessa Lou and went to Squaw Peak for an awesome couple of days playing at the water park.



They all decided they needed to play in the fountain by our room before we headed to the slides.
 The day after….everyone was WORN OUT…and this girl fell asleep like a protester, so I had to take some "STRIKE  STRIKE   STRIKE!!" pictures.

 The next day (Sunday) we decided to have a little family party with a "cake" for our girl.  It was watermelon cake with coconut cream frosting and blueberries and bananas on top  YUM!



 I LOVE THIS FACE!!!!!!
 That night, when I went to sleep stalk my babies, I LOVED how they all fell asleep that night.  They always sleep in different rooms, with different siblings, but this night it was boys and girls…the girls in the little boys room and the boys in Jaden's room.  From now on, only 3 bedroom houses!!!


 And this last week, the kids and I took one last trip up to Grandma and Grandpa's to enjoy the cooler weather.  It was dreamy!  We sat around and sewed quilts, made yummy healthy food, did our school books, went to the dollar store, played war all around grandma's yard, hit the thrift stores, parks and dollar store again, went to the new planes movie, and sewed a cute title dress for Bibs that was just a tad bit too wide, which made it even cuter on her!


 Vivian was grandpa's shadow all week.  She stayed right at his feet.  Pearcey stuck pretty close too, but he was having a good time playing war with the older kids as well.
 Then tonight when we got home, I decided to put curlers in Bib's hair…and this girl puts on either my lipstick or fingernail polish everyday..and her and Pearce love wearing my shoes….I had to give her a mirror and take  a few shots!