Thursday, September 18, 2014

You never know…

Today was nice. It's 3pm and I'm still in my moose pajamas. I hung out with the 2 littles all day and got the pantry cleaned out and organized.  I LOVE not leaving my house.
 (my babies all sleep together most nights…sometimes in very uncomfortable places)
I just watched a mormon message called "You never know".  I can't beleive how EXACTLY my life it seemed. Cooking cleaning, homework projects, so many little tasks each day for people outside of my little family, appointments to remember, FAITH to have….and then the second the exciting thing falls through, you feel like you can't get anything together and youre a failure.  EVERYDAY! I used to be so good at laying in bed at the end of the day and looking at all that I did right that day, and accomplished.  But these last few years, I go to bed with EXTREME guilt, failure, or most often, "I could have done SO much better today".  This video had my desk drenched. I've GOT to change my thinking.  All of these little shorties around here don't see me as a failure (well, somedays one of them has a hormone burst that makes him think so, but I know he loves me).  I've gotta see myself how they do. I'm SO grateful for them.  SO GRATEFUL for them.  They are the only thing that truley makes me happy right now…which is somewhat ridiculous since everything in my life is great.  I truely long for them when I'm not with them.   They're such great kids!
Here are a few random shots off of Jason's phone….
 Vivian at Grandma and Grandpa's house.
 Our hike up Peralta Trail…wait, I don't remember which trail it was….
 Grandma, Grandpa, and Boston and us at a D-backs game for Boston's birthday
 My two shark deadheads at Universal Studios
All 5 sound asleep on our way home from…Hmmm, i don't remember.  Looks like camping.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

A day in the life of…

I know that most of the things I post on here are just regular days in the life of these guys….but for a couple of days I decided to just follow them arround and take shots of the everyday thigns they do…enjoy.

Of course, everyday starts with a spinach shake….sometimes it takes an hour, sometimes it takes 5 minutes…usually depending on how many grapes and bananas we have on hand. 
 Then they play with whatever they feel like for a while…usually, cars, bubbles, fake food, or puzzles.

 Then they start to go crazy….so I pop on some Nick Jr.

 Then I feel guilt after a show or two and have them play in the toy room….this day they chose books and trains.

 Somedays…MOST days they keep breakfast on their faces til lunch and their bedhead is the fashion of the day.  Clothes…always optional with the Mulders.

 This day we got to go swimming with our buddy Stratton.  Always makes for a good time.

Vivian got worn out very quickly…and just laid across my legs for the last half hour of swim time.
 Lucky me…she's a lovely sleeper and transports from legs, to car to bed nicely.

And the ride home from the pool was enough to put this guy out.  We've been bless with AMAZING sleepers and AMAZING eaters. Two things I'm always so grateful for.
 This is the next day's naps. I'm a sleep stalker.  At least once a week I take pictures of one or more of my kids sleeping.  I love how adorable they are when they're asleep! I want to slurp their cheeks offf!!!
 This guys STILL, at almost 5 years old, gets excited for quiet time….goes right in and picks out a few books, "reads" until he falls asleep..and will sleep up to 4 hours if I let him….of course, he'll be my night owl that night if I let him go past 2 hours.  Gotta choose.

 This was in June….I'd like to do another one for fall since they already do different things each day…I love it…and I'm going to desperately miss these littles!!!!

Thursday, August 7, 2014

4th at Grandma and Grandpa's

Every year for the 4th we head up north.   The 4th of July IS a small town holiday (I think they all are).  WE always go to heber to the fireworks, and then we do a few of the local things in Taylor, but mostly we just hang out in the cooler wheather at Grandma's house!

 Just a nice shot of our oldest member of our family…Foxxie turned 13 this summer.
 Our usual picture by the rock at the Heber Fireworks. 

Today i watched this video and I cried the entire way through.  not like weep weep….like wiping tears every couple of seconds and runny nose.  I want my girls to feel good about themselves because they ARE so beautiful and amazing.   But I have NEVER felt uglier in my life than I do this year.  I've let it become so consuming that I can hardly enjoy my life. I am constantly thinking, "I'm so fat, nothing fits me anymore", "This hair cut looks like a mix between Dora and an Ooompa Loompa".   "I'm getting so old and out of shape", "My lips are getting smaller, nose bigger and eyes wrinklier".   I do believe I have a messed up sense of self  perseption, but I don't know how to change it.  When others give me compliments, I hate it. I feel uncomforatble and I feel like they are ALWAYS lies…no matter who says them. It consumes my thoughts so much that it wears me out and makes it hard to do my hair or make up or get dressed each day.  I DO NOT want my girls to feel this way about themselves.
   Just figured I'd post a real mom moment on here.  90% of my life is cuddles, books, cooking, cleaning and playing cars or fake food….all of the things I love.  But I figured I should also put the way I feel at this time in my life.  Hopefully this short time in my life.  Hopefully with help from my Heavenly Father, and maybe some counceling, I can feel great about myself again.  There are a lot of factors I've tried to blame it on…..Lack of sleep….small husband….LOTS of women with amazing bods (whether they got some surgical help or not) with kids around me out here…A closet full of clothes that are 1-2 sizes to small, thinking a year ago that I'd for sure fit into them by now….photoshopped girls in my magazines….etc….but no matter what< i'm in charge of feeling how I feel about myself…those things should have the control to make me feel like crap about the way I look…but right now…they all do.

Monday, August 4, 2014


As a bzzagent I was just given the chance to try out this new hair dye.  I've been using all natural hair dyes for about a year now, but I figured if it's free, I'll give it a try…it's coming right to my mailbox, customized for my hair and it's FREE (as a bzzagent).  Can't wait!

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Annual friends campout

These last 2 years we've meet our friends from HS to go camping.  Due to some very unfortunate circumstances, the Rossers were not able to come this year, but we still went up with the Binghams.   Our kids are all the same ages with an additional Jaden…who was at scout camp for a day anyway. The Binghams brought up their kayaks and we spent a day on the lake.   There were some floating "logs", a few church groups, food everywhere, and some sleepy kids.  It was so much fun!

I had to take a shot of this view…it's so adorable!
This view too (minus the mom bum in the middle)

 These two are so fun to take pictures of everywhere.  They look like they could be brothers.  I love them!  4 year olds are THE COOLEST!

 These two are crazy…seriously…CARAZZZY!   I can't believe they didnt' start the forest on fire or break any bones.  I would have gotten more pictures of them together, but they don't hold still.
 And these girls. I remember taking picture of them when they were just a couple of months old together….and now they're almost too cool for their moms (they'll soon find out that no one is too cool for C and K!)  I love looking at their adorable little faces reminds me so much of Cara and I 20 years ago!

 These two….these two.   They had so much attitude..I'm really surprised we got them both to smile at the same time.  Notice how amazingly dirty they are.  It's awesome!

And now onto the coolest parts of both families…. (photobomber is going to PAY!)
Sometimes when we think we're super cool…it ends up looking like this….
I love this girl.  I'm so glad we've had each other for 31 years now. I blame her for me never trying drugs or alcohol or anything else naughty.  I also blame her for some pretty hilarious nights of my life.  Our first kisses (spitting, followed by a long ride, and hers, re enacted for a video that we have. haha), throwing our towels at the june bugs that were attacking us one HS night by the pool, lots of great proms, homecomings, boy stalkings, dressing up goth or hippie and scaring people at the aiports (back when we could go to the gates at airports w/o having a ticket), learing to drive by driving out on McClaws road and, um, oh, that's Hank's house, wow, let's drive slow…and if he comes out….scream!!!!  Having too much fun at softball practice until we got in trouble, numerous concerts (beastie boys, ben folds five, no doubt to name a few), and now….helping me out as a mom…giving me good ideas, encouragement and reminders of what it's all about.  I really like this chic.  Here's to another 31!

and oh my gosh we make cute dirty campers!!!!!