Sunday, September 12, 2010

Self Acceptance

Today as I was reading CJane's blog I was of coarse, inspired. SHe wrote all about how she's done with a life of "accepting nothing but the best". And as everyone knows, I'm not that amazing, but it did get me to thinking about things that I get disappointed in that I really shouldn't. So I decided to make a list of things to accept, and read it often, because for a while now, I've been so amazingly, happily, contently pleased with my life. That's not to say that I'm happy with me as a person, or as a mom, or wife, or woman or ANYTHING, but my life, the things around me everyday, my kids, my house, my town and my free time.
But there are a lot of little things that might not turn out how I hope...and my reactions to them affect my happiness, so from now on (ok, it'll take a while) I'm going to accept them, and BE HAPPY!
Things to ACCEPT:
My weight. Sure, it'll fluctuate, in good ways when I have time to run and make healthier meals, and in bad ways when we're going on trips, or in baking moods. But all in all, I'm smaller than I was in HS and college, and I was very happy then.

My hair. You all know it's a struggle for me, especially since the big chopping. But it's what it is. I actually wanna take this afternoon to figure out some crazy fun way to do it, rather than pull it all out of my face just to pretend it's not there for the next year til it's grown out. Acceptance

My dirty house. My gosh! I clean, and I clean, then I get my little munchkins to clean, then again, I clean. I sit down on the computer for 15 minutes, turn around and, WHAT THE HECK!? It's impossible. This is a super, huge, hard one for me to accept, and I probably will clean and clean and clean and clean, but I want to be more accepting of the fact that I have 4 awesomely crazy kids under 9 right now, cleanliness can't be part of my happiness.

My husband. haha, ok, just kidding, but we all have little things about our spouses that are hard to accept on certain days, such as, leaving the towels right in front of the dresser where he drops them to put on his undies. Or how about when you're in the kitchen cleaning after a meal, while he's in on the couch with the kids and after about 15 minutes, when it's almost all done, he comes in and says, "I'll get it" as he gets the last 3 cups from the table and puts them in the sink...even though there are no dishes in the sink, they're all in the dishwasher. ok ok, just examples, I'm not saying that goes on here.

I'm not saying it doesn't.

My older 2 and their quarreling. It's bound to happen right? But you know when you see The McCalahans sitting perfectly at church, their kids are taking turns tickling each other's backs, and then they have their arms around each other, and you're 2 rows back having to sit kid/parent/kid/parent/kid just to keep the chaos levels down???? Please say that's not just me! I'm going to accept it. It's going to happen. They have their moments of amazingness, and it's amazing. But the fighting....oooh, the fighting! I really just need a wall that I can punch a hole through when they fight, then I can accept it. But for now, I just tell them fighting is for outdoors, and they go out. It's working lovely.

the fact that I weigh more than my husband and have a deeper voice. It doesn' t mean that others view me as more manly...just because I do. (does anyone?? Private message me if you do!)

lack of coolness. There was a brief moment in my life...YEARS ago, where I thought, "my gosh, I'm the coolest". It's gone
Now I'm a middle aged stay at home mom of 4 that rarely gets out of her yoga pants, and has major social anxiety. I've gotta accept that. If I can do things around here that are cool in an 8 year old's eyes, that's cool enough. No more going to so and so's blog and seeing how amazingly cool they are, and yup, they have 4 kids, and they get a million cool projects done in a week, and go to a million cool places in a year, and dress so cute, and have their hair done everyday, and get into one of their many pairs of adorable jeans everyday.

That will NEVER be me.

NEVER

I'll never the best at anything. That's hard to accept. You know when you know someone that is soo good at somethingi that you want to be good at and you think, "they're the best, better than ANYONE!" Then you usually feel like crap and wanna give up on whatever it is that you do. But really, if it's not something that's making mine or my family's life better anyways, I shouldn't be wasting my time. But if it is, and I'm not the best. WHO FLIPPIN CARES?! There are millions more that aren't the best either. And it really helps when I remember that those who I think are the best...maybe I'm better than them at 10 other things....

Maybe.


Alright, I'm hoping to read and re read this a bunch more times through the year, til I get it in my head that my life is just as it should be. I already know that my life is my favorite. I'm SOOO happy with it, but there are so many things that I have trouble accepting in it....or had trouble accepting.


3 comments:

BetGardner228 said...

You are the coolest. You inspire me, and I look up to you. I love your vow to accept things that aren't perfect and the fact that you made a list. I'm going to do this now too. Thanks for being you and thanks for posting this! I love you Auntmunchkinfayce!

dani said...

Umm ditto to all of Bet's comments...and just for the record, I still think you're as cool as I did when I was 12, just now with the added bonus of really cute kids and a wealth of knowledge that I partake in daily. Love you! :)

{Staci} said...

I feel ya. I really do. I think you're pretty darn cool.

I like the concept of accepting things that aren't going to change and working with what we got. It's so hard.