Interview with a vampire....

Interviewer: Please state your name....
Jase: Jason Lee Mulder

I: What's the coolest thing you did today?
J: The coolest thing I did today was examine 3 moderate to severe children with disorders at the same time.

I: Wow that sounds, uh, cool. What's the coolest thing you've done all year??
J: Duh, you were there, Jamaica, sailing, naked, with you. Don't you remember?

I: That wasn't me you sick perv! WHat's the coolest thing you've EVER done?
J: Got married to you and drove to Sedona.

I: Uh, well, I'll admit that does make you cool. What's the coolest thing you've ever seen?
J: You naked...hahaha, uh, coolest thing I've ever seen, hmm, coolest thing I've ever seen...hmmm (10 minutes later after thinking long and hard) (silence).....(after another 10 minutes of thinking) Green Lightning.

I: Ok, what's the coolest thing you HOPE to do in the next year?
J: build a house

I: really? Do you REALLY freaking think that's going to happen? Cause didn't you think that was going to happen last year?
J: It's ok to dream

I: you drive me nuts...freaking nuts! Alright, so now our readers are curious to know, why did you sell your wife's car this week w/o getting her a replacement FIRST?!
J: Cause I don't trust it and if you sell it, it will come.

I: Like I've heard before, if you sell it, she's left without. Is that what you want for her?
J: Left without? You've got the coolest jeep in the whole world.

I: That Jeep is a PEICE! THere are many many screws poking out from the ceiling of it...or lack of ceiling. It's not a safe car, the sterio sucks, the A/C/Heater sucks, it's dirty, and the seatbelts are scary, and I trust it equally to the peice tha tyou sold. All that our readers are wondering is...WHERE"S HER REPLACEMENT VEHICLE?!
J: The screws are for hanging holiday decorations. It's a safe car. The heater works great, who needs A/C in JC anyway? Ever heard of a hose and soap. I love you baby.

I: WHERE"S THE DA#$ REPLACEMENT VEHICLE?!
J: If you sell it it will come.

I: In the words of my evil blog stalker, "you're retarded!!" You need to go to the special olympics adn make some friends. Next question. Do you plan on making up the lack of appreciation gifts for EVERY holiday/birthday last year, this year??
J: Oh, I did, every day with my love.

I: Gag.
I: Ok then, I guess that's just more $ for me to spend on "gifts for you", like that framed picture, and like a sewing machine, dishwasher, dyson, lens, suburban and house? Ok, now then, what's the coolest thing you hope to accomplish in the next 10 years?...your 30's?
J: Have at least 3 more kids.

I: Is that cool?
J: Heck yes, have you seen my kids?

I: Uh, yea, aren't they known for being the mean kids in town?
J: that's not cool?

I: Alright, so I remember back in the day when we were friends working together and I had you describe your dream woman....she had light brown hair with highlights, naturally curly hair and an accent. Um, and you married a chubby girl with dark STRAIGHT hair and no accent. How do you ever expect to be eternally happy with THAT?
J: Beauty is more that skin deep Kristal. That's why I love you.

I: That was the greatest insult ever, but gee, thanks. Glad to know that my skin isn't beautiful.
Ok, I think it's time to wrap up this lame attempt of an interview. Let's end with this...How the #$@% are you going to make up for that last comment?
J: well, first off I'm going to make you write what I was finishing saying.
I: Ok, still not helpful.....
J: Stop, stop hahaha stop. First off there are many forms of beauty
I: Gag
J: And you're the most beautiful woman I've ever married. Just kidding. Stop, hahaha stop. I love you babe. Let me go brush my teeth.
I: yea, so you can go to bed and I can stay up watching Food Network that I have Tivoed? Yea, so now you all see how extremly lucky I am to have such a romantic on my hands here!

Good night tard!, Love you too.