I've been listening to a book called "present over perfect". I don't recommend it, but it has a few good points, and the first that I took from it was to say no! Say no to things that overwhelm you and don't give you satisfaction. Things outside of your two inner circles of people. Your children, husband, close family and friends. I think a lot of time, especially being a person that moves A LOT, I feel a need to quickly make my way into people's hearts, no matter who they are, because I probably won't have long to. But we've been in this house now for a year and a half, which is a long time for us, a nd I'm ready to slow down. More no's to those outside of my inner circle. My inner circle is pretty consuming at this season of life and my inner circle is growing up WAYY to fast and I cry about being out of the baby stage of life at least once a week, but Jase assures me, we are done. I tried to invite more family's over for dinner, go out with other couple's more, attend more girl's lunches and girl's nights, but NONE of these things brought me satisfaction. They brought me temporary joy and I did have fun getting to know some great new people, but the time that it took away from my inner circle, or the extra stress that it caused me which gave my inner circle a mom that they don't deserve was NOT worth it. When you say no to one thing, you're saying yes to another. And I have to make sure that my no's to things outside of my circle are creating more valuable yes's for my inner circle. And likewise, that the yes's that I AM giving outside of my home aren't creating no's for those inside my home. I've watched a lot of women close to me chose social lives over creating memories and teaching things within the home, and likewise I've seen so many women that hardly ever attend girl's nights, or girl's trips or even many couple's trips with their spouse to relish the quick years that they have at home with their children. I'm so grateful for those examples that I once judged as being boring or overly committed. There are SO many distractions for moms to pull us outside of our homes, so many that aren't enriching or inspiring, so many that actually do the opposite, create gossip, complaining about family or even just fun time that would have still been better spent inside the home. I'm hoping to have more no's the the things that take away from my important inner circle yes's.
I also took away from the book that we can't shove down that part inside of us as women, that is unique to each of us, that pushes us to become who we want to be. Paraphrasing, she said, "wear clothes from vintage shops, drive a vespa, plant a garden, do whatever it is that yo've always wanted to do or be!" so many women just push that down and chose to be a mom. And when I thought about what I'd want to be doing right now, there is NOTHING I'd rather be doing than being a mom, but on the side, I do want to dress more fun like I used to in HS and college...my own unique style that helped me stand out. Now I wear what most mormon mom's wear and I think I just blend right in. I DO want to create an amazing garden, and this year I'm going to do what it takes! and I'd LOVE to drive a vespa, hopefully after we get this house built and get Truman into school I'll get one! There are so many side dreams of the woman I always wanted to be during my mom years and I've sat them aside to focus on momming, or to blend in, but that's not who I ever was for the first 20 years of my life. So 20 years of standing out, 20 years of blending in, and now it's time to stand out again.
I'm also realizing thatI'm too focused on my weight. I'm so tired of carrying around all of this extra weight, but I let it determine my mood for the day. If I'm down a pound, Im the fun, crazy mom, if I'm up a pound, we clean...and we clean all day unless you play outside...without your mom. I know this won't be an easy fix, but it's GOT to be fixed. I watched a darling commercial from Kay Jewelry about these 3 or 4 couples. It went through their whole love story from beginning until now, when they have kids...and they talked about how they still have to connect now that they have kids. The men spoke of how lucky they are when they spot their wife from across a busy room and think "how did I get so lucky that she chose me?!"...and I loved that these men felt this way about these women, but it was mostly because they were all overweight except for one...and the one had a skinny husband, and the other 3 had chubby husbands. I just feel like it should match up, and I'm big and Jase is tiny so I carry so much focus on my weight because I feel so. uncomfortable being with him. Wish me luck!
Tuesday, January 30, 2018
These two adorable girls had their dance recital and nailed it! Kam does hip hop and Vivian does ballet and tap. They're both just the cutest dancer. I love watching them!And since we're done having kids (huge mistake) I made us get a bunch of baby animals. A baby bunny named "bugs" or "Cadbury"...he answers to neither....
just a little shot of our big ole family with all of the new members after church.
Posted by kristal at 7:45 PM
I couldn't get logged onto my blogger for months! That's why the huge break. But I can't catch up because I don't have time, so I'm just going to start with the last week...Jaden's first date! Winter formal with Glory Craun! The two cutest kids in the High School! They had a day long date that ended with a snowy night.
Posted by kristal at 7:42 PM
Friday, May 5, 2017
This last week Trubear has LIVED in his highchair. no lie. About 75% of his waking hours are spent in the highchair. He just want to eat...anything! This week it's been a lot of watermelon, deli meat, mangoes and avocado. On Wednesday he chose watermelon, and A LOT of it. I let him go to town since I was busy making lettuce wraps.
Later that night he went chicken chasing...he never quite got his hands on one.
Posted by kristal at 10:08 PM
Sunday, April 23, 2017
Today Jase and I were sitting on our front porch swing eating cookies that one of our neighbors brought us before our kids realized we had them, and we were talking and Jase asked, "seriously, how did we get so many cute kids?!" Our two middle boys were busting up laughing at each other and they both looked over with their big sparkle eyes when he asked that. They're so awesome! We really are THE most blessed family I know.
Today was our first irrigation of the year. The kids went crazy. Our whole front yard was a big swimming pool. They had races, and raced Gus and did a few science projects with our bridge and their toy tractors, then realized IT"S FREEZING!!! The water is SO cold and it's windy today! They're so crazy!
And Bibs wanted to plant strawberries and basil. She picked this little spot in the yard for the basil. I'm a bit nervous it won't get enough sun, but she's excited about it.
Here's the smaller monkeys pre hunt....
We made this carrot patch cake for FHE last week.
Posted by kristal at 4:50 PM