Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Pretty much perfect...

Mmmm, yum! I freaking love this baby. I seriously sit and stare at him all the time. He's seriously way cuter in real life. I'm just a sucky photographer and he moves a LOT. Anyway, I just thought I'd write some real life shizzle here. I know most people only write the good that's going on their lives, but when am I like everyone else? So I'm going to write about the misery of these past 3 weeks.
Week 1 - nursing was just a little sore, nothing to complain about
week 2- crying and screaming from intense pain
week 3 - same as week 2, but now burning between feedings. I really really didn't want to stop because I LOVED being able to nurse baby B and this might be our last baby, so I want it to work. I went to a lactation specialist yesterday and she freaked out when she saw my boobs. She said, " we can't be feeding a baby on those open wounds". So she's asked me to stop feeding him, and to just pump, which I can't do, so now i have to hand express for one hour every 3 hours. and I only get an ounce between both sides. So I really suck at this nursing thing, but she's having me put some antibiotic on it that will help the wounds heal properly, then I can try with him on them again next week, and if it doesn't work, I'm done. I told myself I'd go through this pain for a full month before calling it quits. but it's been incredibly depressing for me. I want it more than anything, and I really don't want to miss out on it, but I don't know what else to do. So that's my misery of the first week. Crying from pain, then crying from it not working.


10 comments:

AudyCamp said...

He is SO PRECIOUSLY ADORABLE Kristal! You did good. Gosh it seems like just a few days ago when you were prego writing a comment on my blog post of my newborn. It goes TOO fast...make sure and eat him up! :)
I feel for you with your nursing pain. This time on my 4th was the worst. You think I'd know what I was doing but it took a good month for me to be free of bleeding & pain. Hope it's over with soon & you can keep nursing!

Sarah Pace said...

He really is flippin cute!!
I know how you feel abou nursing. I went through the same thing with all of my kids. I don't think I produce enough milk though, who knows I just know that I am not even going to try anymore!! So good for you for trying and being persistant!

Hope it works for you!!

Alona said...

That stinks about breast feeding. Hopefully you heal quickly! Those pictures are so adorable. I definitely do not think this should be your last kid! You have such cute ones!

Tamee said...

I pray for your boobs!
In picture 1 he looks like Quinne and in picture 2 he look like Jaden. But in both picture I want to eat him up.

Jessica said...

What a cutie! I totally feel your pain about the nursing thing, I am going through the SAME thing right now, and it hurts! Emmaree is 6 months so I'm like I'll just quit, it hurts too bad and it can't get better while I'm nursing- but then I feel guilty! UGH, good luck!

Jamilyn said...

He is such a cutie!!! Sorry to hear about the nursing and all the pain. I ended up with Thrush so I couldnt nurse and had to pump I dont know what I wouldve done without pumping. Since Stratton was a premmie they didnt really give me many options. I couldnt imagine having to hand do it though that takes forever. Hope it works out.

Staci said...

he's a doll. i wish i could fix your nipples for you. wait, that's a weird thing to say. i just wish it wasn't sucking so much.

The Giles Files said...

Wow, he is so cute! But really, judging from your other kiddos, I expected nothing less!

Out of 3 kids, I have only had one successful nurser. Went through the pain, bleeding, open wounds, pumping, thrush, and drying up. It SUCKS. It's like somehow, I felt like a failure. Every time I made that "final" decision to quit, I just cried and cried. Other mothers do it, why couldn't I? Then let's throw some hormones in there...and it just made me a mess.

But after a few weeks, my mind always seems to get clear, and I realize I made the right choice. I actually finally enjoyed getting up for the night-time feedings. Sure, the milk wasn't from me, but I could also just stare down at my sweet baby, without wincing in pain.

So sorry you have to deal with this. Hopefully things get better.

Allred's said...

Oh my gosh I want to squeeze him and kiss him!! I have always wanted a little boy, maybe one day. As for the hurt boobies, I so know where you are coming from. The first few weeks are misery! But it is worth it when everything works out. I hope it does for you! Breast Feeding is such a wonderful bonding time as well as so good for our babies. But you know that....so anyways, he is adorable!

alison said...

Oh Kristal, it seems like just yesterday you were emailing me about the pain from nursing Boss, I remember wanting to just give up and quit, but then somehow it worked out. I hope your chest heals and you are able to enjoy nursing him for the next year. Hang in there, just tell yourself that if it works out that you won't have to deal with the pain of a period for a long time. I am so sorry I wish I could make it stop. Just remember if it doesn't work that you gave it your all and it doesn't mean you failed at all. If you failed it would be that you quit after the first time or two of it hurting. You have hung in there and suffered tremendous pain, holy cow, I can't believe even the lac. cons. told you you couldn't nurse with those open wounds. Yikes, it must be so bad. I will pray for your boobs :) Your little bundle is the cutest thing ever. Oh and you think this could be your last???? I thought you wanted at least 6??? OK my comment is super long, love ya!